420 ftw
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
how does that bad decision feel?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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