Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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