sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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