dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
