if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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