If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
