i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
