Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
