I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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