Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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