By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
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I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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