ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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