we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
