fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
