So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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