Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
