Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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