Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it glows. i had to have it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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