babies were throwing up all over the place
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I AM VODKA MAN
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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