so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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