we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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