There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
