So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
