you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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