mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
this hospital has no fireball
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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