Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
