She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize