Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
