You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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