Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
