So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She bit a glass in half.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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