Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
