and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
