yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
