So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
