if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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