he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
third nipple confirmed
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
