hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Houston, we have a blender
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
