im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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