Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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