I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
