i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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