I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
