I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This baby is an asshole
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
