Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
