I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
