You smell like a Billy Joel song
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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