the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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