i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Vodka?
Forever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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