I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
