Sponge bath it is.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
