When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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