I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
