Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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