i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
