I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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