lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
