He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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