I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
