I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
