I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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